All posts by Kiki

Dear Str8nochasr

Greeetings and WELCOME to my office! have a seat at my desk, ask any question you’d like, VENT if you want! drop some knowledge! make a statement, CUSS somebody’s ASS out if you have to… you may do it all right here ANONYMOUS with no JUDGEMENT! your opinion is yours, and mine is mine! both will be respected!

*Note: Name and Email NOT required*

Sincerely, Kiki





It was an extremely tiring day.  We had all been going through our share of life’s mishaps, so we knew we needed to do something special for ourselves.  So, the 8 of us made plans to travel back home to see our girl Angie. She’d just gone through a divorce and was having a really rough time. We all agreed that we’d fly home to console her.


My girlfriend Denice, the boujie one with OCD, was in charge of making the dinner reservations. We trusted her for the task because she was well read on all the trendy new eating spots!… and it had to be to her liking. We’d had problems in the past with her ocd, so we just decided to let her choose the restaurants we ate at going forward.


My oldest and dearest friend Judy, was going to make it in first and she was finally going to come out of the closet to the rest of our circle.  Of course I had always known that Judy was gay, because we had a lil fling once after high school…we never told a soul… but, Judy and I were best friends since 3rd grade.


our circle hadn’t seen Judy since she graduated from college, but I’d gone to visit her several times throughout the years.


By the way, I’m Jennifer! Jennifer James… but all my girls call me JJ.

I’d been married and divorced more times than I care to share… so I knew I’d be able to help Angie in some way. After all, I had the experience lol.


Then there was Rici. OMG! Rici was a plumb fool to put it mildly. When we graduated Richard was a beautiful chocolate drop of a man. Richard was bowlegged… and beautiful was not a descriptive enough word to describe not only his physical appearance, but also his heart! Over the years things changed and one of those things was Richard’s anatomy… Richard had made his decision to become Rici…and all of us supported his decision. Although we hadn’t physically seen Rici, we supported her 100%.


I personally couldn’t wait to see her. I felt really lucky to have a plethora of beautiful and unique friends.


Now, I’m not sure how Angel would take seeing Rici because, although she supported Richard’s decision and new lifestyle. it was a conflict with her morals.  Angel was a minister now…she’s evolving spiritually and has had her own church for the last 5 years, but I still think that Angel had had hopes that she and Richard maybe one day getting together… she loved Richard differently than the rest of us. I think it’s safe to say, Angel missed out!


Then there’s Rebecca… whew! BECCA, BECKY, OR Bitchy as we so lovingly referred to her as… Becca was rich and white, but she loved her chocolate drops!. That’s literally what she’d call us… and it was ok.. because Becca wasn’t racist and she never cared what anyone thought of us. We would joke sometimes and say that we were all one big cup of strong black coffee sure to wake up the world!…until Becca jumped a splash of her creamy ass in our cup and made us a big cup of caramel latte’! She had always been well off… Her folks had money and of course she had to marry a blue blood. Her momma, Mrs. Cathy, wasn’t having it any other way… when she got married right after high school Mrs.Cathy said, “Rebecca you can have your drops of chocolate in the wedding, but there sure as hell won’t be any other chocolate in the house”.


I know that sounds kinda mean, but you have to realize that we graduated in the 90s and in our home town, things were still a bit black and white if you get my drift.


Becca’s wedding was beautiful!

Completely snow white everything! except for 7 drops of chocolate!


Becca’s flying in on her private jet with Rachel…she and Rachel went on to be business partners after college.


Rachel is rich as well. She moved to California some years ago and while at a Grateful Dead concert, she met an older guy who was into pot. For years Rachel and this guy did nothing but travel, attend Grateful Dead concerts and smoke lots of pot. She would always send one post card and make us forward it to each other… she told us that she’d be rich one day… but we just laughed because we knew she’d probably end up just smokin’ pot the rest of her life… unbeknownst to us, Rachel and the old guy had gotten married and he had lots of land in Oregon and California. Rachel and Becca linked up somewhere along the lines and then Kanabis Konni was formed.  They had a legal cannabis farm in 3 states!.   YES MARIJUANA IS LEAGAL NOW… so technically we were right, Rachel would be smoking pot all of her life. lol


Angie is the only one of us that still lives back home and since none of us had been there in years we wanted to see the town, visit some old friends, and see how the town had grown.


Denice sent a mass text telling us where we’d be meeting for dinner that night. She told us that it’d been hard to secure reservations at her favorite restaurant in Memphis… and that she bribed the hostess to secure the reservation, but wasn’t sure that we’d get it. Her OCD was so bad we all had to eat where she had chosen because she specifically liked clean spaces and hated noisy crowds.


She let us know that her favorite place was booked solid, but she assured us that she had it covered and that she wouldn’t flake on us if she couldn’t find what she felt comfortable with… she promised that she’d go wherever we chose, if all else failed.


It was 3 pm and we received a mass text from Denice…


Denice – Guys, I’m sorry, but I couldn’t find anywhere for us to go that I’d be comfortable going to, so just go without me and I’ll catch you guys tomorrow…


Rici – OH HELL NO! Neice don’t start with that boujie ocd shit! it’s been years and I want you to see me TODAY!


…the rest of us chimed in as well…


Becca – DENICE, Rachel has a joint for you, you’ll be fine and wherever we go, we’ll drink lots of wine and not only can you drown out the voices from everybody else in the restaurant, you can also be so high beforw we get there, that you won’t notice anything nasty! with yo boujie ass…I love you chocolate drop!


then I responded…


Jennifer –  I have a cousin back home who says that a new restaurant has opened in the TOWN. She says she’s never gone, but she heard that it was nice.


OMG! my phone blew up!

text after text, 7 to be exact…


Denice – JENNIFER don’t nobody wanna go to no damn hole in the wall, greasy spoon in West Memphis!


Rachel – Who do you think we are!?


Angel – HEY, yall remember when we used to get chitlin plates from Mrs. Anners on Broadway…


Judy- Remember Becca used to make Richard, sorry Rici lol… go get her pork chop sandwiches for lunch.


Rici – Kmsl yall are crazy!


Angie – Judy! I know you’re not talking about eating in West Memphis.. you stayed at Dodges getting a 2 piece and 5 jojos lol


Rachel – Well I don’t care where we eat at!


Becca – I’m sure you don’t Rachel… you probably have the muchies right now!


Jennifer – K, guys! let’s just find out the name and google it.


Denice – Google it for what! kmsl I’m sure they don’t even have a website!…and whats gonna be on the menu anyway! hog jowls, neck bones and pinto beans. ??


Angie – Hey guys! STOP JUST STOP!

I do still live here and if this fool hadn’t taken everything from me, yall would be able to come to my place and eat, but I don’t have shit! so!



sorry Ann

I’m sorry boo

Angie we love you

yeah, sorry Angie


Denice – Well I’m not! I hate West Memphis and I’m certain aint shit there good to eat.


Judy – Stfu Denice!


Jennifer – Ok guys, I got the name of the place… I’m googling it now. give me a minute and I’ll send yall the info.



Ok guys, the web site says it just recently opened and you have to make reservations!


Denice – Reservations for WEST MEMPHIS…you’re kidding me right!


Rici – Damn Niece chill! it’s not about you… it’s about Angie!


JENNIFER – As I was saying… you have to make reservations…hmmmm I’m reading this introduction… and it sounds kinda good!


lol and I actually think you may like it Denice… Sounds like one of your lil boujie shii shii spots!


Angel – Angie you haven’t gone to this place…


Angie – Gurl I’ve been in bed for the last 6 months! I’ve bathed like 6 times… lol


Rachel – I got something to help you with that… I got you boo!


Jennifer – Here’s the introduction guys… let me know what you think


The proprietors of Tiny House Café and it’s ace staff champion an atmosphere conducive for Intimacy, the warmth of family, beloved friends, cherished memories, as well as the love you feel when these things converge over a home cooked meal. T.H.C, a cafe reminiscent of a French bistro in Paris, has merged the fine dining experience with the comforts of home. Our communal table for lunch offers an eclectic menu. We offer choice cuts of meats as well as a veritable bevy of vegetarian and vegan dishes. Join us for dinner. This experience will leave you speechless as we infuse west coast culture into this exclusive West Memphis experience. By RESERVATION ONLY, your party of no more than 15 can have a familial at-home dining experience in our home away from home. JOIN US!…..Experience the charm of our intimate setting, pleasant staff, and delicacies catered to delight the senses.


Jennifer – Sounds good to me I’m with it.


Denice – I have to admit it does sound like something I’d love to experience.


Rici – I like the fact that it’s a new dining concept!  with the west coast flavor!


Angie – Let’s do it! I’m gonna ride by there to just take a look at the environment.


Becca – Sounds great to me.. DO THEY HAVE WINE?



Angel – Becca that’s all you think about!…getting drunk!. lol


Judy – Angel I thought that lil book you carry around said that wine is good for the belly sake and that you should eat , drink and be merry!


Rachel – Yeah, Angel don’t start tryna perform any exorcisms on nobody! and speaking in tounges! kmsl


Jennifer – I’m calling to make reservations now.. is everyone on board?


Rici – yes!

Judy – yea!

Angie – yeah!

Angel  -sure!

Denice – I guess so!

Rachel – I’m stoked!

Becca – Long as its wine there! I’m there!



5 hours later…


We all arrived at the location.

Angel and Denice Ubered…

I rode in the limo with Becca, Angie and Rachel.

Judy and Rici arrived in a black Maybach.. with dark tinted windows!


I knew why!…but I didn’t spoil it for the others.



When the limo pulled into the parking lot,

(I don’t know about the others), but I was pleasantly surprised. The place had wonderful curb appeal!. It truly did remind you of a little french cafe in Paris..  and I thought for a moment… WELL WELL WEST MEMPHIS! LOOK at You!


It was beautiful! and there where beautiful rose bushes along the entrance and sides of the building..


and it most certainly looked exactly like a tiny house.


We all exited our vehicles…


Just as Judy was opening the door to get out of the Maybach, Angel yelled, “where’s Rici?!”… SHE RAN OVER to the car and flung the door open.. and there she was…

BEAUTIFUL!!!!! Her face had a Rodney King beat on it… omg I thought Angel would pass out… I don’t really think she believed that Richard had indeed become a woman…


Judy ran over to catch Angel!


I was tickled pink! and then we all ran over to Rici and hugged her and then Angie!wept like it was a funeral!.


Just then, Judy cleared her voice and said, “Ladies, ladies, let’s get ourselves together!!”


We turned to walk into the tiny restaurant.

We didn’t know what we were in store for, but when we walked through the door, I KNEW we weren’t in Arkansas anymore lol


The ambiance was nice. There were dimly lit lights throughout the space. The decor was chic and modern. There was one huge dining table. It were almost as if we were at home… but not at home… it felt like I was I was in big momma’s kitchen, but a little more upscale. The hostess was beautiful, soft spoken and polite..


“WELCOME to the tiny house cafe ladies.. we’ve been expecting you,

please sit down and make yourselves at home. TONIGHT THIS Tiny house IS YOUR HOUSE… BE FREE, BE YOU!

enjoy a wonderful glass of wine and tonight our chef’s specials are grilled lamb chops with a raspberry and pepper glaze. A rich, creamy mushroom risotto, braised collard greens or grilled asparagus…

Here are your menus. Make yourselves at home and we’ll be right back to take your drink orders…


OMG.. I didn’t know if I was in shock because Rici was so beautiful or because I didn’t expect this for such a tiny space.


All of us were in awe…this place was gorgeous and quaint… It was just what we needed for the things we needed to discuss. PRIVATE ISHHHH! We didn’t have to worry about being too loud because the restaurant was all ours for the evening!

It was so refreshing to not have to share the space with anyone else and being able to see the chef prepare our meals was a pleasure as well.. We’d always wondered what went on, in those kitchens, in the back of the restaurant…


Now, we had an opportunity to not only see, but we could also talk with the chef while he was preparing our meal. The place was immaculately clean… so we all knew that Denice was pleased…


The hostess came back with the menus and wine list… so, we knew that Becca was pleased..


We placed our wine orders…3 bottles to be exact!…and not too pricy, might I add!


The tiny space had a calming energy… it was very Zen-like.


The hostess came back and asked if we preferred a live saxophonist, vocalist or if we’d prefer to play our own music via Bluetooth throughout the restaurant…


NOW where in else in the world could you get service like this!??


We opted for the Bluetooth during appetizers and wine… and a saxophonist during dinner…


Omg! We laughed, cried, hugged and cried some more.. talked loud and even cursed alot lol and there wasn’t anyone to offend… even Angel began to untighten her misters collar and relax a little… Afterall, she was among friends and we didn’t judge!


Just before dinner, a man entered the dining room with a small jazz sax and he began to serenade us…




The hostess took our orders… I had the lamb chops, Rachel ordered from the vittles portion of the menu which had soul food selections.

The others ordered tapas plates.. and the chef served us!


If you’re ever in the tiny town of West Memphis, Arkansas…

YOU’VE GOT TO check out the
TINY HOUSE CAFE’ ….. by the tracks

they remember your name!




It was a typical day, so I thought,  I was preparing to go outside on the patio to do my morning routine of basking in the warm California sun and its refreshing crisp air while enjoying my Sensi blends triple threat medicinal cannabis stick, then I was interrupted by my cell phone ringing. It was my dad, my DNA as he likes to refer to himself and me. I declined; I thought about it and decided to call him back.

I called him back after being settled in on the patio. After 2 minutes of speaking with him I decided to finish the conversation in my truck as it began to seem as though this would be a doosey and I didn’t want to disturb the neighbors. We talked for a few minutes about the regular stuff, how is this one and that one doing, blah, blah, blah… and then the conversation began to take on a mind of its own.

The universe has its own special way of doing things to you and for you. If you pay attention to it! Prior to this conversation I had been having thoughts as well as limited conversations about ancestry and dna to my husband and some family members. I’d been wanting to know who I am and where did I and my people come from.

Sometimes you have so many quirks or idiosyncrasies that you can’t help but wonder “WHO THE HELL AM I?” and “WHERE DID I COME FROM?” then my father asked me this question… “Do you know how many words my father has said to me to this date?” I replied, no, I don’t, and I thought to myself what kind of question is that, of course I don’t and I also thought, my grandfather has been dead for many many years and my father is 61 years old now so theres no telling how many words my grandfather had spoken to him so I asked, “how many words did he speak to you?”

The conversation stood still; there was dead silence for what seemed like an eternity. Then he spoke, the tone was slow and methodical. He said, “My father said 125 words to me in my lifetime and all of those weren’t positive. Wow! I was in shock and in awe at that the same time because I wondered how long had my dad lived with that number, how did he come up with it, did my grandfather actually only say 125 words to his son and why! I thought he must have only said 125 words to him because the count was so precise… he didnt hesistate, he didn’t stammer or studder and my Father has a slight studder.

I imagined how his life must have been. and him saying to himself, as a little boy, why doesn’t he talk to me? I wondered when did he begin to count and what prompted him to count. Then I began to feel angry at my grandfather,  a man that I’d only had my own personal memories of. I was disgusted by the mere thought of him having had little to no interaction or conversations with my father.

Just as I was allowing my anger to rise my father said, “my father didn’t know any better!” He continued with, “my father was born in 1917 and black men of that era didn’t show emotion or too much compassion, and you gotta understand that.”

Immediately my mind wondered back to what my grandfather’s life must have been like, due to the year he was born I realized that it was a strong possibility that my great-great grandparents had to have been slaves. Having done a research paper, previously in college, on the psychological effects of slavery I knew why my grandfather wasn’t able to show affection to or sit down and have a loving conversation with his son.

I personally feel that along with a lot of familes back in the old days, my grandfather and grandmother weren’t having children because they simply wanted to. I feel that it was more about economics. The more children you had the more help and hands you had in the field. My grandfather was a sharecropper for most of my father’s life. That was not the best job to have and sharecroppers were basically still slaves. They worked crops for plantation owners in exchange for shelter and there was rarely any money left to give the sharecroppers after the crops were sold… SO THEY SAID……

Those times were extremely hard for my father and his family. I love to hear his stories about those days. All of this plays a role in who I am and knowing myself, it’s amazing how all aspects of your life tie into who you are.

Lately I’ve been learning how to control my emotions more. And within this process I’ve learned to think about who people are personally before I allow my emotions to soar… and in this instance when I began to think of who my grandfather, Dewitt Roberts must have been and knowing who my father Henry Lee Roberts is from listening to his stories of his child hood, his memories of his past pimp life, his saga with the church and being a preacher to his rants about the government and the world as a whole.

My eyes grew brighter! I smiled even, while I thought of how I had once felt that I came from such a dysfunctional family and how I was such a mistake, how I’d lived a mistake and how I’d one day die a mistake. But I no longer feel that way because all of these little puzzle pieces that are forming and showing me WHO I AM.

I’m growing and learning to love myself more and more …. And then suddenly it all made sense… My life, my father, my DNA.


How many times have we gleaned from our elders? How many times have they told us old cliches?


Its 1:00 in the morning and i finally get what my great-grandmother was trying to teach me at an earlier age and time in my life.  its so quiet, calm, peaceful and relxing where i am at this moment.. i swear i can hear her speaking to me…

Thank you BIG Momma! i hear you this time and this time not only do I hear you, but i also understand what you’re saying this time…

“KIKI, BABY, YOU GOTTA HAVE WATER HYDRANT LOVE. Or else you’ll have a long row to hoe in life!

In case you’re to young to know what “having a long row to hoe” means… it was a term that the elders and ancestors used while working in the cotton fields in the south. It simply meant you had a long days work ahead of you.



Its the year 2017 and my great-grandmother knew when i was a young girl that i loved foolishly and purely.  Loving the wrong people that way has gotten me into quite a bit of trouble along this life journey of mine.

I’ve always been told by the matriarchs in my family, that i loved to hard.  I NEVER truly understood what that meant.  As I’ve aged and experienced some of lifes most hurtful upsets and let downs. I’ve come to realize that maybe what i should have been being told was… KIKI YOU LOVE UNWORTHY  PEOPLE, People who weren’t made to recieve the  love you posess and they dont deserve your love.    i know you must be thinking thats TOTALLY wrong!  you should love everyone… true you should have a compassion for humans and we all know that “God” commanded us to love.

But how should we love?

At 45 years old,  i think that as of today, i FINALLY GOT IT BIG MOMMA.

Its perfectly fine for me to love people in my capacity.  Its perfectly fine to love people unconditionally.  But i have had to learn who and what deserves the different types of love that i have to give.


It is in my opinion that the only people worthy of recieving TRUE UNCONDITIONAL love are your babies, your toddlers, your adolescents,  and your teen children; that is it! NO one else should be loved UNCONDITIONALLY!


And i say that because babies didnt ask to come here and children  love innocently and unconditionally  but adults,  ANY ADULT that is toxic in your life in any way or that is detrimental to your being or your growth as a person as a human being, that ADULT does not deserve your unconditional love!. you may love them but it has to be with some sort of condition otherwise you are setting yourself up for a disastrous situation.

I GET IT BIG MOMMA… the love that flowed from my heart for people of all kinds, family, friends, and spouses…. has stopped flowing like a running faucet…it has now become a drip!.

because with water hydrant love you have the power  to stop and start the flow as well as the power to control the speed of the flow.

FOR ALL OF THOSE that I KNOW THAT IVE LOVED UNCONDITIONALLY….let this be your notice. see this drip in the pic above, thats the love that you ALL WILL NOW RECIEVE. its still love indeed however, it is up to you when and if it will ever flow like running water from a faucet  again.

and i have no problem with giving it to you this way… completely at a STANDSTILL!   NO FLOW AT ALL.





I’m so tired of the word “hoe” and its definition as I know it to be. I’m so tired of hearing grown male boys and girls referring to any woman as a “hoe” I wonder where did this “hoe” come from where did she originate and how did she become a “hoe” some black men say that word with such hate, such power so much force! Yet, I wonder how many have contributed to a woman becoming or being the “hoe” that they so love to hate! I wonder which came first the chicken hoe or the egg! Which came first, a woman wanting to be a hoe or some HOE ASS BOY making her, convincing her, loving her, beating her, using her, mentally crippling her, emotionally killing her, molesting her, raping her, manipulating her to the point that she EVOLVED INTO THE “HOE” that you grown HOE ASS BOYS made her into! Was it a part of us being enslaved and used as bed winches, and breeders!!!!

Could it possibly have anything to do with our ancestors being forced to use their vaginas as nothing but breeding holes for the next big black buck’s dick to fill it with semen and breed another strong buck for their economic plan for 400 years!!!!!… YOU LOW DOWN STUPID GOOD FOR NOTHING BUT THE ONE PUMP YO RAGGEDY ASS PAPPY USED TO DROP YO ASS IN ya momma vagina with!  A lot of you grown boys got momma issues and the true “hoe” you love to hate is the one you call momma! Because, truth be told, that’s your first impression of a woman and what a woman’s character is.  Grown boys ‘round here demeaning and debasing any or all sisters because she gets government assistance and ya’ll assess got free cheese and help on light bills and shit just like everybody else and if yo momma didn’t get assistance she either IS the “hoe” you love to hate and was getting her shit by tricking or working extremely hard for ya dumb flagging ass!

If walls could talk!  There’d be a million women saying what they’ve had to result to doing to feed half of this population.  Grown ass boys talking bout they’re a pimp and pimping… and then with the same nasty, stanking ass, no brushed ass teeth mouth, they talk about the so called “hoe” that’s financially helping them feed their children! Naw, fuck that they ain’t feeding their children… they’re buying dope and J’s with the money….

Either way, Just fucking think for a moment!  Ain’t no damn body no fucking HOE… they might be poor, brain washed, foolish, dumb,slow, uneducated or ignorant but a HOE…. naw i think NOT!  At least not on her own. Teach a woman how to be a woman if you think or feel that women are just HOES.  Its plenty of women who have come behind millions of other women and RE-RAISED their sons to be REAL PRODUCTIVE MEN!… if a woman is not acting like the woman she should be it may not be that she’s a “hoe” it may just be that you’re a grown boy and you treat her like a hoe because you’re ignorant of what it is to be a real GROWN MAN, therefore she’s ignorant of what it is to be a real woman and she’s only doing what she knows to do!

Learn what ignorant means…. It means to NOT KNOW! Simple…. The answer is not just get money! The answer is to also  GET KNOWLEDGE! PEOPLE,  we as a people need to stop focusing on bullshit and get KNOWLEDGE OF SELF! All aspects! If you’re a male, and you’re a grown boy! Learn the definitions of male, boy, and man… and if you’re a female… and think you’re a “hoe” learn the definition of female, girl, woman and lady! I’m not mad at either; grown boys or “hoes” and I love ‘em all because I know what the bigger picture is… I know that we need EDUCATION, EDUCATION, EDUCATION and EDUCATION… and I’m not talking about that Eurocentric SHIT!  I’m talking about a crash course in humanity and KNOWLEDGE OF SELF!… knowledge of self!!!!!


RE-EDUCATE THE NEGRO…… please somebody!


When in hand cuffs, she sat in the cold steel chair thinking of all the things she could’ve done to not be in this position.
Sure, she could’ve walked away, sure she could’ve  just left or gotten a divorce, but her life was over! He saw to it that she’d never lead a normal good life. She’d just turned 40 and was an empty nester. He’d moved her away from all of her family and friends years ago. She felt she had no one, and her children were all grown living their own lives.
She recounted all the times she’d gone to countless doctors in search of any treatment or cure for the many stds that her husband had given her over the years. Some of the stds and infections were so bad, they often left her debilitated. It was hard trying to explain to her superiors that she’d have to miss work because she developed pelvic inflammatory disease (PID) from being exposed to Gonorrhea for so long that her tubes were now scarred and because of that, she had excruciating abdominal pain and would not be able to work. Or the all the times she had a herpes outbreak and they were the worst.. She told of how her panties would stick to her vagina from all the blood and puss coming from the blisters and how painful it would be to remove them and at those times she’d just sit in a tub of hot water to remove her underwear. She’d burned herself countless times trying to get the water hot enough to dry the blisters up, which on several occasions had given her 2nd degree burns on her lower extremities…Try explaining that to the attending ER physician… specially with her being a nurse practitioner. All the years she went to nursing school and of all the doctors she knew personally, she never had the courage to ask for help or for any unknown treatments. She’d given her life to medicine, but medicine couldn’t help her. She felt ruined! She would never be able to have a healthy sex life, and at her age, what man would want her? Her husband gave her every std and infection known to man! Except HIV/AIDS.
She was taken away from her thoughts by the opening of the heavy door in the interrogation room where she was being held. A man with huge shoulders and big thighs walked in..he wore dark sunglasses.
The Detective asked her, “Mrs. Herald, would you like a glass of water?”. She heard him speak, but couldn’t fully understand what the question was. Rather than ask the detective to repeat it… she responded with a simple,” NO”.  She thought that it would be sufficient for whatever he’d asked. By the time he asked her the next question, she’d come back to the reality of where she was and why.
She was beautiful!. In her prime she would’ve been what they called a ‘bad bitch’!. She was petite, but very voluptuous. She looked as if she’d once been very fit. She reeked of class! She was very demure, soft spoken and her eyes although blood shot, were kind. To look into her eyes, you’d never think that a tiny woman with so much class and grace could do what she’d done.
The detective sat in a chair across from her… His sliding the chair across the floor startled her and she jumped. The look on the detectives face said, she’s afraid of something…
She noticed the look he gave her… He had a file with papers and pictures. He shuffled them awhile looking at this one and that one… placing this paper here, that picture there…And then, he said that he was Detective Conan and he would like to ask her a few questions. He asked her to state her full name for the record and told her that he would be recording the interview.
He was appalled and intrigued with Mrs. Herald at the same time. He honestly didn’t know where to go with this interview or how to begin. He’d never in his life seen such a beautiful woman. But, he desperately needed to know why and how she was there with him in this room.
His partner brought her in, but didn’t get an opportunity to fill him in on any details before he had to leave to investigate a triple homicide.
So there he was, left with the most beautiful and voluptuous woman he’d ever laid eyes on and a stack full of disgusting bloody photos. So he begins with, “Mrs. Herald, do you know why you’re here?”
She answers, “Yes!”
“Mrs. Herald, we’ve brought you in for questioning in the attempted murder and torture of your husband Mr. Bilal Herald.”
She slowly looked up at the detective and said these words…
“Detective Conan, my name is Amanda Herald and yes!, I tortured and tried to murder my oppressor and if I had the opportunity to do it again, I would! only the second time, I would most certainly kill him!.I’m guilty! I waive my rights to seek counsel.! lock me up and take me to peace and freedom!”
Detective Conan said, “Whoaaaaaa hold on there little lady!. Are you sure you don’t want your attorney present?”
Detective Conan starts thinking, (“There’s no way possible this fine ass woman did this shit! I have to help her! She’s too beautiful, too fine! Too intelligent. This is wrong… I have to help her!.
Then he thought to him self, “John snap out of it… what the fuck is wrong with you…”)
(Detective Conan stops the recording)
So he starts again, “Mrs. Herald… I’ll tell you what, before we do that.. how about you tell me what happened off the record. And then I’ll advise you of whether or not you should ask for counsel…”
Mrs. Herald said, “Ok, I don’t have a problem with telling you the truth. I’m ready for this to finally end.”
The detective said, “Ok, Mrs, Herald,  you have as long as you need… start from the top!.”
Mrs. Herald did…
“Detective Conan, I’m a beautiful woman and an even more beautiful person inside and I see the perplexed look that you have and I’m sure you’re trying to figure out how or why I could’ve done those things to Bilal. And I see that you’re attracted to me. Believe me detective, I see it all the time in every mans eyes that looks at me. But, Detective Conan, I’m not what you think I am… My husband Bilal made sure that I could never be with another man as long as I live. I just turned 40 last week. I know I don’t look like it but yes, I’m 40.
I’ll tell you how we got here. But please after I do. I would appreciate if you would put your sunglasses back on because I don’t want to see your eyes when you find out what you’ve been looking at and lusting after. Because, it truly pains me to look into a man eyes after they know who I am. It hurts to see the desire leave and the disgust arrive.”
The detective said, “Oh, no Mrs. Herald, I assure you I’m a professional I’m not looking at you in that manner. But I will oblige you and put my sunglasses on. Whatever it takes to make you comfortable.”
Mrs. Herald nodded with approval and began…
It all started in college, I met Bilal my Senior year. He was a Kappa and was very handsome. I was preparing myself for med school. It was my dream to become a plastic surgeon. It’s all I thought about. I wasn’t dating because I wanted to focus on my studies. I’d seen him around on campus and he was a star. Everyone loved Bilal. He was charming and sweet. He was very intellectual and I never quite understood how a man with as much intelligence as he had chose to pledge a fraternity. I never liked frat guys, I thought they were loose, misguided and shallow. So I paid them no attention. Bilal began to pursue me, long story short, I fell for Bilal and fell madly in love with him before I graduated. I wasn’t a virgin, but I’d chosen to be celibate for college so that I wasn’t distracted by a relationship, sex, and it’s drama. On graduation day, I woke up with the worst pain I’d ever felt in my life and it was in my vagina. BILAL had given me herpes! Unbeknownst to me, I was having a terrible outbreak! It wasn’t the worst I’ve ever had to date… but it was life altering!. I didn’t know what to do! I didn’t know where to go. I’d never had any problems vaginally and was clueless… there was just a lot of pain, but I had to go through with my graduation ceremony. Immediately after the ceremony, I met with Bilal and told him what was going on. He acted as if he had no clue as to what could be wrong. He took me to the hospital, 5 hours later I found out that I had been infected with the herpes virus and that my life would never be the same. How can the best and worst thing that happens in your life be happening on the same day? I was mortified! Crushed! And bewildered! Bilal swore he had no clue. As I cried, screamed and yelled, he took me into his arms and told me everything would be ok. He assured me that I would be fine and that he’d never hurt me like that again. I believed him. He got down on one knee and proposed to me right there in the hospital. He said that I’d never have to worry about anything and that we’d be together forever, all I had to do was be his wife.
Confused, angry, happy and sad all at the same time, I mustered a soft, “Yes, I’ll marry you.”
Detective Conan to this day, I cannot tell you why I said yes. In reflection, I think I said yes because the news from the doctors about the herpes was a life sentence… so I thought, I’ll never be able to live with this condition with anyone else and I didn’t want to pass it on after learning all about it.
So we got married. Lived life, had children.
Detective Conan throughout our entire marriage Bilal cheated, had several affairs, 2 additional children and has given me every std and vaginal infection known to man. I know what you’re thinking now,
NO, detective Conan, he did not give me HIV/AIDS. That was the only thing that I was spared from.
Detective Conan said, while looking at the photos, “Mrs. Herald, so you did all this because your husband gave you an std?!”
Mrs Herald lifted her gaze to the detective chuckled… and said, “surely you jest!.
Detective why do men think so little of the terrible things they do to women?
Detective that std ruined not only my life but 2 of my 4 children’s lives as well I have two blind from birth children due to an outbreak I had while giving birth. I lost 3 other babies due to SEXUALLY transmitted infections after having so many my womb could not hold a baby. And that is just ONE of the stds I got from my husband. On our first year anniversary I woke up with genital warts!. They were so bad they had to be burned off. They were in every knuck and crevice in my vagina and I felt burning for weeks after that. I stayed married to Bilal because I always felt that no one else would want me if they knew my truth. Detective, I could tell you all the gory details about the stds. I could tell you about the countless therapy sessions it took to attempt to get the visions of all these things happening to my vagina and my body out of my mind… I could tell you every filthy detail, but there’s no need! Pull my doctors records from my gynecologist and it’s all there.
I mentally can’t go thru that now but I will tell you about last month and last week.”
Bilal had been out on assignment with his job for the entire month. I’ve accepted my life and strangely enough Bilal still desires to be intimate with me.
I knew that as soon as he’d gotten in that he’d want to be intimate with me and give me whatever new disease he’d found in Australia…
So this time, I would be ready. His birthday would be at the end of the coming month. I’m a nurse practitioner and I work part time for a specialty urban clinic on the south side of town. We treat mostly inmates, ex cons, homosexual males and people with strange or un-diagnosed diseases. I’m sure you’re wondering why I would want to work in that particular field of study.
I’d been moonlighting there the entire month, and while there I got to know quite a few different individuals… some with bright futures and some with pretty grim futures. And I could relate to them all… I chose 4 unique individuals all with deadly or active illnesses or diseases. I established a rapport with these individuals. All 4 had no desire to live, all had been living with diseases given to them by their spouses. WE ALL WANTED REVENGE! 2 of the 3 men I chose were gay and each had HIV and one had full blown aids. He’d gotten it from his cell mate, that along with a gang, raped him  one night while he was asleep in his cell. He was angry!…And wanted nothing but to hurt someone like he’d been hurt. The 4th was a female, very much like myself… very beautiful and had a full life ahead of her. She’d been diagnosed with a form of herpes unknown to man. She suffered constant outbreaks! No medicine could cure her!  All we could do was give her morphine for the pain. Her vagina reeked like rotting flesh. Her blisters were more like deep open wounds than small blisters. It was worse than any out break I’d ever had. One man was infested with lice. But his infestation could not be contained.  It was as if the lice were apart of his blood, he scratched and scratched until he’d have lice, skin and blood under his finger nails.  
I could see that Detective Conan was becoming ill. He then interrupted my spill and excused himself. He was only gone for 10 minutes, but it felt like a lifetime. It was he first time that I’d felt alone since this whole ordeal began.  It felt quite strange to be in Detective Conan’s company because I found myself attracted to him and that’s something I hadn’t felt in years. It felt good! I hadn’t felt this alive in years. I  hadn’t been able to mentally become aroused by any one. I thought that my vagina could not feel any sensation after all of the 2nd degree burns over the years.   I was literally numb down there, and to me, my vagina felt like leather!…But there’s something about this man that makes me tingle and it feels so good!  These thoughts are consuming me. I don’t know if I’m in shock and my body is going haywire, or if I’m indeed being sexually aroused by this man’s presence.
Just then, Detective Conan enters the room. Mrs. Herald collected herself from her whirlwind of thoughts and emotions. Detective Conan said, “Mrs. Herald, I apologize for the interruption but I had to take care of some very important business, you may continue.”
Mrs Herald starts to speak again, and she says very candidly, “Detective Conan I assure you I am a big girl and I’m very intuitive and I’m certain that you became ill while I gave you the details about my accomplices…”  Detective Conan interjected, “Mrs Herald, I assure you that I’m a big boy and nothing that you say, can or will amaze me!”  Which was a lie! Detective Conan was indeed amazed by Mrs. Herald and not just because of her breathtaking beauty and body but also by her candidness and her honestly. It was refreshing to Detective Conan and he was blown away by her.
All the while, Detective Conan actually removed himself from the interrogating room because he became emotional and did not want to show that side of himself to Mrs Herald. Detective Conan had not always been this tall, dark, handsome, chiseled man standing before Mrs. Herald.
Detective Conan said, “Please continue.” Mrs. Herald continued with the events that were about to transpire.
Detective Conan, I wanted my husband to feel pain! I wanted him to experience fear, the fear that I’ve had to feel every night for 25 years! The fear of what type of disease I’d contract from him, the fear of whether it’d be HIV aids this time or the next! I wanted him to feel what it’s like to knowingly have to perform sex acts on a person while you know that they’re infected with some nasty disgusting std or infection! I needed him to feel the way i’ve felt and I needed it to be MAGNIFIED!  I asked all four people if they’d like to be apart of a special study and told them that they’d be compensated for their participation. I started with group therapy sessions where each person had an opportunity to explain the reasons behind their anger. I then asked everyone to focus on and make a vision board, of what they’d like to do or what they’d like to happen to the individuals that made them who they were today. I admit that I used their anger and grief to manipulate them into doing what I needed.  I did it to protect them from events that are occurring at this very moment, although none of them have any desire to live, I would never be able to forgive myself if they were put behind bars. This went on for weeks… Then finally, I exposed myself and I told them of all the horrid things my husband had done to me and how my children had been born blind. THEY WERE LIVD!
 They immediately wanted to organize a lynch mob.  The love and compassion they showed me was phenomenal.  At this moment, I knew they were ready! None of these people had been able to be sexually active because they never wanted to expose anyone to any of the illnesses they had.  But, things were about to change…I lied to them and told them that my husband had finally felt remorse for what he’d done to me and that he’d decided that he wanted to do anything in his power to make me forgive him and allow us a new start at life. I told them that my husband had agreed to allowing me to inject him with an incurable disease. His only request, was that he not know how or when it would occur.  They didn’t question me at all. I think they were being fueled by rage and revenge.  They would’ve done anything! I’m certain of it.
My husband’s birthday was coming up and I’d told him that I had a surprise for him. I told him that it was something special that I’d been wanting to do for years, but never had the courage to. My Husband was a STONE COLD FREAK and I knew he’d be down for whatever. He would immediately think I was planning a menage a trois or something, and this time, he would be correct.  It was definitely a manage a trois or SOMETHING!
I told my willing participants all the details minus a few small ones. They all agreed. We all waited for the perfect time when everyone was either having an outbreak, flare up or sick in some way and if they weren’t at the time,  I made sure they were, even if it meant injecting them. They didn’t care, they were ready for the revenge that they sought.
Bilal had come home from his business trip from Australia, and to be honest, I hadn’t received any stds from him in years, but the physical trauma and emotional scars had lasted me what seemed like two lifetimes. This was my one opportunity to get even. As far as Bilal was concerned, his marriage and life were perfect. He was secure in the fact that I’d forgiven him for all of his past infidelities and he thought that because he still desired me sexually, that I was secure with my body, our sex life  and our marriage. Little did he know, I hated and loathed my own body because of him. I’d thought about killing myself or mutilating myself on so many occasions.  I felt that my body and vagina had brought me nothing but pain and turmoil, so I wanted nothing to do with myself and wanted nothing but to be rid of my vaginal woes.
Detective Conan, It’s amazing how a man can do so many foul, ruthless and despicable things to a woman that they profess to love and care for and still trust her with his life.  I can’t count the countless times I’ve been the good loyal faithful wife and ironed clothes for him to go out all the while knowing he would be entertaining another woman.  Rather than complain, bicker, or argue, I chose to remain submissive, docile and quiet.  I prayed, but never got an answer, I meditated, but never received a response. I waited for karma to have it’s say.  But my cries, and pleas went unanswered, so I took matters into my own hands.
Bilal was expecting a rendezvous out of this world. I’d told him how all of his wildest fantasies would be fulfilled on his birth night.  I told him how this birthday would overshadow the one where he was delivered from his mother’s womb.
I told him how this night would bring me such ecstasy and that the climax that I’d receive would be mind blowing! I told him that he would not be able to contain himself and that there would be more SEX ACTS THAN HE COULD HANDLE!  He was beaming with excitement. I could hear his smile through the phone.
I had him just where I needed him.  He trusted me, just as I’d trusted him so many times. I asked him was he down for whatever because this was gonna be his birthday to remember for all ages.  He said an absolute YES! Bilal was such a freak. I’d found out years earlier that he had been on the down low.  Bilal thought that since he wasn’t a bottom, he wasn’t gay and that there was nothing wrong with him penetrating another man.  As long as he wasn’t being penetrated, he felt that down low sex was fine and his manhood was intact.
Bilal made it home at exactly 7:30 p.m.  He drove the jag into the garage and remained there for at least another 20 minutes.  This was common behavior because he always had to talk to one of his side chics before coming inside to greet me.  All of the participants were in the basement having cocktails, hors d’oeuvres, and what I like to call special party favors…. just a little something to take the edge off.  After all, on a night like tonight, we’d all need it!
I told the party guests to enjoy themselves and that Bilal was about to enter to the house and to remain quiet while I prepared the birthday boy for the night’s festivities.  They agreed and continued enjoying themselves. They all looked amazingly stunning, even the men looked great and Robert with the lice fixed up pretty well, I couldn’t believe my own eyes. I knew I’d asked them to look their best and told them to be ready for whatever, but I had no clue that they could clean up so well.
I left the basement when I heard the door open. I rushed upstairs and there he was, Bilal Maxius Herald standing 6’5″, body shaped like Adonis. Shoulder length manicured dreads, with a beard that probably could have put the bibles Sampson to shame.  He was fine! He would make anyone do a double take; male or female. Sadly, that’s the major reason why we all were where we were.  I had a second thought at that precise moment; but I shrugged it off, just as I had to so many other times when he hurt me…
He picked me up, hugged me and started to kiss me, I quickly wiggled out of his arms, smiling and laughing, I gently pushed his hands back and lovingly told him to wait, and be patient…Then I grabbed the video camera and turned it on.  I asked him if he minded if I videoed the party because I wanted us to be able to remember it forever.  While on record, I said, “Bilal Maxius Herald, do you love me?”… and he answered me, “yes.”  I asked him, “Are you ready for whatever that happens tonight?”, and he answered, “Yes, baby give me whatever you got!”… I said, “No, Bilal just answer me yes or no.”… He answered, “yes.”..  I asked him if he agreed to everything that would happen to him tonight as I unbuttoned my blouse, he answered…yes.
Detective Conan interrupted, “Mrs. Herald, I hate to interrupt, but by the way things are sounding are you implying that Mr. Herald agreed to his own torture and attempted murder?”  Mrs. Herald said, “Detective Conan I’m neither admitting to nor denying anything, I’m simply telling a man, off the record, what happened…Is that not what we’re doing here Detective Conan?”
Detective Conan said, “You are correct mam, this is off the record… you may continue.”
“Thank you sir”. I told Bilal to get undressed, shower and relax in the steam room when he was done and that there were fresh chocolate covered infused strawberries waiting by the door before he went in.  He loves those berries; they cost a fortune to be infused with imported tequila from Spain.  Nothing but the best for this night.
Bilal did as I instructed.  I was fuming in the inside as I thought about all the sick twisted shit he thought I’d be doing and allowing him to do to me on tonight.  He needed to die!  Death would be too simple for this loser.  My palms were sweating from the thought of choking him to death.  I could feel his adam’s apple between my thumb and fingers, and it felt good.
I went into the steam room to serve Bilal a shot of his favorite imported tequila. “Before I continue, Detective Conan, you did say that this conversation was off the record?”… “Yes, Mrs. Herald, I did say that. But, I must ask you, why did you admit to the torture and attempted murder if you’d already devised to have him consent to the activities?”… “Well detective, that’s a good question and I guess now is the perfect time for me to tell you exactly how things went.”  I had given Bilal 7 shots of his favorite tequila just to give him a slight buzz. Bilal is a professional business man, yet he loves to party and he was overly excited by the plate of cocaine that was waiting for him after he left the steam room. When he saw it, his eyes lit up like fireworks on July 4th! I knew he was pleased. He doesn’t do coke regularly, but whenever there’s a party, he’ll partake of whatever drug or drink that’s in the building… he has no turn down button. He reached for the plate of coke… I instructed him to take it slow because I wanted him coherent for the surprise that I had in the basement. He agreed; and proceeded to snort 3 lines of coke. I sat and watched him and when he was done within minutes it’s as if he was a total different person. I’d always wondered who he was when he wasn’t with me. I wondered, but never asked and never questioned him. I’d learned to keep quiet over the years, because if I inquired, he’d begin asking me to go out with him to all of these shady swingers bars, gay clubs, and strip shows. So I just accepted that he was who he was and that it wasn’t my business. But now, at this very moment, I got an opportunity to see him transform.
He was aggressive and animalistic. He grabbed me and began clawing at my breast! He pulled me close to him and he hugged me so tight that I thought I would pass out. I had to get out of his grasp, he started sucking on my neck and vigorously rubbing my breast. I asked him to stop, but he wouldn’t, I yelled for him to stop but he wouldn’t. Then I softly said, “Baby I have a surprise for you in the basement… it’s what you’ve always wanted from me.”
Then and only then did he stop and compose himself. I told him to meet me downstairs in 10 minutes. I grabbed the plate of coke and told Bilal there were some more party favors in the basement.
As I walked to the basement, I started to feel powerful. For once, I had full control of Bilal and soon he’d be begging me to not hurt him again just as I had begged him for years.
When I walked into the basement, everyone appeared to be having a great time. I think that this was the first time in years that these people had been invited to anything or the first time in years that they wanted to be apart of anything. I could tell this was special for them; almost as special as it was for me.
I greeted everyone, I’d already instructed them to park their cars in the rear and that the door to the basement would be already open and to just help themselves with drinks and party favors.
I was pleased to see that they followed instructions well. The only female in the group was drop dead gorgeous. I knew Bilal would have to have her. He wouldn’t be able to resist her body, he was a sucker for big asses and she must have paid a fortune for hers.
I was pleased to see the men looking so dapper! I asked them were they ready to meet the man of the hour. They all smiled and agreed in unison that they were more than ready.
Our basement was huge. It was more like a small apartment, complete with 3 bedrooms. I’d prepared all 3 rooms to have a special theme and special event. The last room was the biggest and the greatest of my surprises.
I grabbed a glass of whiskey to take the edge off, but I needed to be sober and in control so I didn’t drink much. I made sure that the special room was locked and secure. I asked everyone to hide and told them that Bilal would be coming down shortly. Everyone took their respective places. I switched the lights off.
Just then, we heard Bilal coming down the stairs, he called out to me, “Baby , turn the
Lights on… I can’t see!.”
By then, he’d made it to the last stair. He turned the light switch on… and we all jumped out and yelled SURPRISE!.
You should’ve saw the look on his face, it was priceless! But,I was certain that the last look I would see on his face tonight would be far greater than that!
He was delighted! I said, “Baby this is your surprise birthday party and these beautiful people are your party favors and they are here to satisfy and please you in any and every way imaginable!
I love you so much, I’ve loved you all of my adult life and I know that I’ve not always been there for you SEXUALLY the way that you like, but for your 40th birthday, I wanted to give you an unforgettable experience that you’d be able to think about for the rest of your life.”
I then introduced him to each person and told them to get familiar with each other. He immediately opted to meet the woman first. I could tell that he was digging her and I could see that she was also attracted to him so it’d be easy for her to go through with my plan.
It’s amazing how attraction can ultimately ruin your life. Simple attraction…
I went into one of the bedrooms and returned with some edible marijuana treats. I passed them around the room so that everyone could lighten up a little and I asked Alexa to play R.KELLY. He was a freak just like Bilal. I’m certain his music would help them get in the mood.
I told Bilal and the others to go with the flow and let whatever happens happen. I told them that they had 2 bedrooms for their privacy and that I wouldn’t interrupt and that when he was done with all of them, that he could have me…I’d be waiting in the last room.
I excused myself, and went into the locked bedroom and prepared myself for Bilal’s entrance.
I’m not certain of what all transpired in those rooms, but I did instruct the men to be certain to take pics of Bilal giving and receiving. I didn’t see anything, but from the sounds of things, I think Bilal prefers being a bottom over being a top. His moans sounded like pure ecstasy… he reminded me of a young girl making love for the first time or an old woman finally having her first orgasm.
When Bilal came out of the room, I was there waiting with a few more party favors. This time it was ecstasy pills… He popped three. I didn’t say a word, after all he’d need to be out of his mind to be intimate with this woman. She was indeed sexy, but her vagina was just an open infected wound.
The woman had been instructed to take Bilal into the second bedroom alone. I’d already given her a shot to numb her vagina so that she wouldn’t be able to feel any pain or anything else for that matter. This party wasn’t about them being SEXUALLY satisfied, it was solely for Bilal’s pleasure and PAYBACK!.
I didn’t want to know what all would happen in that room, but I requested pics of Bilal giving her cunilingus.
Just then Detective Conan had to interrupt, and he said, “Mrs Herald, if all that you say is true about these people and their conditions, why did you plan to be intimate with your husband as well? How could you take him into that room and allow him to touch you. It would seem to me that you wouldn’t be able to touch him after all that he’d done in those rooms.”
Mrs. Herald said, “Detective, let me finish, you asked for the details and I’m giving them to you.”
As I was saying…. I don’t know what all happened in the room with the woman, but Bilal passed out. The woman walked out of the room and handed me my pictures. She then asked me if she could shower and freshen up, I said yes. When I walked into the room after her. I vomited right there in the door way. I was hit in the face with the worst smell I’d ever smelled in my life. I know Bilal was high out of his mind, but I just couldn’t conceive how he was able to do the things to her that he did and it was all on film every moment of it! It was disgusting.
I went over to Bilal, made sure he was still breathing. I asked the men to help me carry him to the sofa. While there on the sofa I cleaned him up. I threw up 3 more times, but he had to be clean for his rendezvous with me in the 3rd room. After cleaning him, I put smelling salts under his nose to wake him. He jumped up with bulging eyes…and no clue of what all happened, but being the freaky whore he is, he wanted more drugs and more tequila. I obliged him.
For the remainder of the time the woman was showering and cleaning herself up, Bilal indulged. He and the men remained partying for the next hour.
I went into the locked bedroom to make sure that the bed was perfect and that everything was in it’s place so that Bilal would be comfortable.
Then there was a knock on the bedroom door. It was the woman, she was all cleaned up and looking very good. She was ready to help me execute the rest of my plan. I let her in and she looked over the room and found that everything was in order.
I closed and locked the door and went back to the party. Bilal was on the dance floor dancing with one of the men…grinding hard on him like he was a woman. So that’s what my husband looks like when he’s out of town with the fellas… a BITCH!
At this point, I had no tears left to cry for Bilal or myself. He was a SICK, TWISTED, CONFUSED piece of shit! And I hated him!.
It was time TO PAY!… I tapped the man on his shoulder and began dancing with Bilal. His appetite for sex was insatiable. After all the sex he’d had in the last 2 hours, he still had an appetite for me and he wanted me so badly. It hurt like thousands and thousands of thorns sticking me, for him to touch me. His beauty was gone. Seeing him like this, in his true light helped me to be able to do what I had to do. I didn’t see him as human anymore. He was dead to me! And I saw him as a cadaver.
I pulled away from him and he grabbed me back into his arms. He said, “Don’t run from me baby, I knew all along that one day you’d stop being a bougie bitch and join me.”… He said, “I’m a free spirit, and people should be able to have sex with who they want, whenever they want. MONOGAMY is the true robber of love.”
I said,”You’re right and I understand now.”… Then I told him I had one more party favor and that it would be an injection of some really good shit that I got from a doctor friend of mine. I told him that it was A-1 and comparable to the drug Michael Jackson was on. He was happier than a pig who missed the slaughter house.
He sat down on the sofa, then one of the men knelt down beside him and told him that he wanted to give him a blow job that he’d never forget. A blow job that he’d remember forever!
Bilal was game and asked me to watch. I told him only if he couldn’t see me watching. He agreed. I took a scarf and tied it around his eyes. The man began to give him fellatio. Bilal screamed with pleasure. It got so good to him that he grabbed the man and began kissing him.
Now was the perfect time to unmask myself. Just then as he was passionately kissing this man… I stepped up on the sofa snatched the blind fold off and yelled…
“STOP SIR! YOU’RE about to have a heart attack! LET ME FEEL YOUR PULSE!”
I was wearing a sexy little nurse uniform. Bilal loved role playing. He was eating it up. I dismissed the men by telling them, “This patient needs our help! Why are you guys standing around like you can’t see that this man needs medical attention.”
The men left quickly and while I entertained Bilal for what seemed like a lifetime, it had to have only been 10 minutes or so. They came back in scrubs looking like doctors. Bilal was eating this up.
I turned to the men and said, “Doctors, this patient is extremely sick! I think he needs to be admitted and treated for being too sexy.” Bilal’s chest was as big as his ego with some sort of sick pride. He was so happy, I’d never seen him this happy.
One of them men said, “Sir, are you in pain? Would you like something for the pain sir?” Bilal fell right into the scheme of things. He said, “Yes, I’ll take something for pain.
The man started an IV on Bilal’s hand and said, ” Sir we’re going to take you into your room for further evaluation.”
Bilal was a bit groggy from the edibles and tequila, so the men helped him to his feet.
I walked over to the 3rd bedroom, and unlocked the door. The room looked just like an operating room. After I unlocked the door, the men helped Bilal walk into the room. He was so into the moment that he didn’t notice the woman sitting behind all of the monitors. He was blown away!. He said,”Baby you really went out of your way for me this time everything looks so real.” Little did he know, just how real it was.
As they lay Bilal on the bed, I walked up to the bed and said, “Sorry I have some consent forms for you to sign. And we can’t begin the procedure if you don’t sign these forms. We have to cure you of your sexiness.” Bilal hurriedly signed the forms. I took them and handed them to the woman.
Then I got in the bed and straddled him. I asked if he was ready for the night of his life…he said yes. I told him that he’d have to beg me to give him what I had to cure him of his sexiness. He fell right into character. He begged me, “Please, please, please, Mrs. Nurse cure me of all my ills. Cure me of my sexines in whatever way you want. Please, please please give me what you got.” Just then one of the men injected Bilal’s IV with something.
Bilal was out in 3 seconds. Then the men strapped Bilal to the bed in restraints. I stayed straddled on him…Then the IV was stopped… Bilal came to and when he realized that his hands and feet were in restraints he wasn’t pleased.
He tried to get up but he couldn’t. He asked what was going on…The woman stood up and he looked at her. I don’t know what came to his mind when he saw her or if his memory started to come back from their earlier event, but he was sickened. He became ill and his face turned two shades darker.
I told him to not get sick on us, and that tonight would be a long night. He had this perplexed look on his face. He didn’t know what was truly going on at this point. But, he wanted answers.
I got off of him and stood beside the bed..He was calm and wasn’t trying to break free any longer. He asked me what was happening, I told him in the most calming and gentle tone, “Bilal the fat lady is about to sing, the wrongs will be righted, and vengeance is ours… (I pointed to all of us in the room)
Today this awesome medical team is about to make history. When you wake up from your procedure you’ll be cured of your DOGGISH,WHORING WAYS. You’ll be cured of all your infidelity. You’ll be rid of the terrible things that made you do terrible things to me. Tonight you’ll pay the price for my life.
A life for a life…When you wake up, you’ll finally be able to feel and experience how life has been for me during the 20 years that I’ve been with you…And you’ll know unequivocally without any doubt, that HELL TRULY HAS NO FURY LIKE A WOMAN SCORNED!” Bilal began to scream, “Please don’t hurt me, don’t hurt me baby, what are you doing, what are you going to do to me? baby please, baby pluhhhhh…….” Before he could say another word, one of the guys pushed more meds through his IV and he was out cold.
After being on the run for 3 months, I decided that I’d had enough and didn’t want to run anymore. That’s when I was stopped for speeding by your officer. When he ran my license, he discovered that there was a warrant for my arrest.
Detective Conan, believe it or not, it sounded like a pretty good plan in the beginning and I honestly don’t regret the final outcome.
Detective Conan began to speak, “Well,  Mrs. Herald, that’s quite some story, and I truly empathize with you. Believe me I do. Can I tell you something off the record Mrs. Herald?… I may look a certain way to you, but I think I understand infidelity better than anyone else that you could have spoken with. I’ve been married 2 times and both wives were drug addicts and had sexual addictions.  I haven’t been with a woman in 10 years because I too have been exposed to terrible stds, and I’m currently living with herpes as well as having syphilis that will remain in my blood stream for the rest of my life. I can relate to you all too well, although I’m handsome and have a great career, what woman in her right mind would want to be with me?… I don’t think I’ll ever be able to trust another woman as long as I live and although I suffer with these conditions, I do not want to die from HIV/AIDS. Sex is not more important than my life…And until this day, no one has ever heard why I am truly single. I allow people to think what they choose. The women around here think that I’m gay and the men do as well, but I don’t care what they think, as long as I’m healthy and alive.
I don’t know why fate would have it that we meet and you tell your story to me. But, as fate would have it in my eyes, Mrs. Herald YOU’VE DONE NOTHING WRONG. Your husband deserved everything he got…And before I go and get another cup of coffee, I’d like to ask you one question…First let me remove your handcuffs.
Mrs. Herald, would you consider going on a date with a man ever again if there was one that could accept you and everything there is about you?…Could you love another man again, if there was one that would love, respect and honor you?”
Mrs. Herald said, “Detective Conan, are you asking me on a date?…After all I’ve said to you!”
“Yes! Mrs. Herald, I’m asking you out for a date”
“But…Detective Conan….”, said Mrs. Herald.
Detective Conan reiterated, “Mrs. Herald, would you like to have dinner with me tomorrow at 7:30?”
Mrs. Herald, nervously answered, “Well yes, I, I….. guess I will.”
Detective Conan arose from his chair, pulled a business card from his pocket, handed it to her and said, “Mrs. Herald… YOU’RE FREE TO LEAVE.” She got up from her chair, took the card from the detective and with tears in her eyes she thanked him softly, kissed his cheek and exited the room.
Just as she was closing the interrogation room door, the original arresting officer was approaching the small room. She blew past him with urgency.
The officer entered the small interrogation room…He saw his partner of 15 years, who was about to retire,  sitting there with the weirdest look on his face.  One he’d never saw before. The officer didn’t know what to make of the detective’s facial expression.
He interrupted the detectives’s actions… He was looking at the photos of Mr. Heralds procedure… Although very graphic, the photos were in good taste and showed all the details.
The officer asked his fellow detective and friend, “John, are you alright?…Wasn’t that the lady that I brought in for questioning in the torture and attempted murder of Bilal Herald, the big time playboy and real-estate mogul?”
Detective Conan while starring at the last picture and finished product of what Mrs Herald and her accomplices did, looked up at his friend and said, “Scott, we’ve been friends for 30 years and we’ve worked together for 15 and you know that sometimes in this business, we have to look the other way…. well this my friend, is one of those times. I’m about to retire and after all the dirt we’ve done on this force, I felt it was time to give back. Look at this picture…This is what she did to her husband. She felt it was the one  way that he’d be able to truly understand what he did to her… And I agree. So, I LET HER GO!”
“JOHN! you can’t be serious…Let me see the photo!” While looking at the photo, the officer looked back at his friend and asked,”John, what could her husband have done to her to make her not only do all the things in these pictures, but also……” “He deserved it buddy!…Believe me and trust me on this….Let it go!”  “I will John, but this last picture!.. what did he do to make his wife give him a complete sex change operation?!”
“He did a lot brother, but one thing he won’t be able to ever do again is stick his dick in anything!…As a matter of fact she made sure that the last pussy his dick would go in, was his own!.”
She sewed his dick up inside of his new vagina that she made for him and he woke up at home with double D size breasts and a mutilated penis sewn inside his new vagina….And she left him all the pics and videos from his once in a life time birthday party…

naked and unafraid cont…


Left to right they are, Ulanda, but I call her Lil Shon! She’s my rider, but she won’t let me be wrong. She corrects me whenever needed! She has the hugest heart and won’t hurt a fly! I’ve often asked her, “Lil Shon, why you so nice to people when they’re mean to you?”… and she simply says, “A playa gotta keep her LOVE game tight!”. SHE’S A TRUE BLUE and I trust her with my life.

Next is me, Kiki…. I’m my BEST FRIEND and sometimes my worst enemy! I keep all my secrets, yet, I’ll tell everything about me to a perfect stranger if I think it will help them in any way. I make sure Kiki treats people the way she wants to be treated and when no one else has my back, and I can’t talk to any of the women you see here, I talk to KIKI and she always sees me through.

Next is Quesha, but I call her KWEEEE SHU! lol I don’t know why I have to whine when I call her name but I do. Quesha and I have been friends since Kindergarten. We were in the same class. We went to school together k-12.. We’ve done a whole lot of dirt together lol, We’ve had a few not so good moments in our friendship, but TRUE FRIENDS never fall completely out. She’s the mother of my friends! Quesha will help you whoop ya man if you need to lol! She’ll also help you whoop anybody else… lol…well, used to! We’ve matured since that time. Quesha will open her home to anyone in need. She can be reached by her friends any time of day or night. She’s always only a phone call away! She can be counted on for almost anything if she feels you’re a friend! I know she’ll always have my back and she knows that I’ll have hers when and if she needs me.

Next is Dr. Topeka Small.  I’ve known her for 12 years now.  I call her PEKA! Boy has she helped me grow! I appreciate her countless counseling sessions.. she’s my therapist friend and confidant. I can tell her anything and she won’t judge me. Although very educated and professional in real life, Peka is a friend whose house you can go over and have a shot of Patron, while being funky for 2 days because you couldn’t bring yourself to showering because you were too hurt from your man cheating on you. She’ll lay all the bells and whistles aside (all the proper grammar and context) and she’ll say, “GAL COME ON IN HEAH AND SAT DOWN AND tell me all about it wit ya stankin ass!” Lol! She’s the only person to me, that says my name with such class and dignity… I wish you could hear her say…NIKIKI!

Next is the Diva! I’ve known of this young lady for years, but I’m very much older than she so, I didn’t get an opportunity to get to know her when I was younger. Our paths crossed a few times at beauty shops over the years, but the real connection came in 2013.. From our initial conversation, she dubbed me, “BIG SIS”! I didn’t know at the time how special she would become and how big of a part of my life she’d occupy… but, she is indeed my sister!.. I appreciate her kindness, her genius and selfless spirit! She gave me a piece of advice a few years ago and it saved my life!…and she knows what that is! She’s proven herself to be the type of friend that will bend over backwards for you…or drive you for 7 hours str8 with no sleep, because she loves you!   She’s a true gem and a rare find! I’m happy to call her sister and if you don’t think she’s my sister…. TRY ME!  you’ll get your feelings hurt!

Last bust certainly not least… Tina Carter, I call her Tina Taylor…. Tina is the second person in my whole life to wear the title BEST FRIEND. The first was before I went to school. We started hanging together in Junior High. We were inseparable. There was another person in our trio… she’s not pictured, but is still in my heart. We were the 3 Musketeers! Lol! We dressed alike, ate lunch together, and did all the things Junior High kids do. We even became cheerleaders together. Our friendship was the first of all the others! It set the tone! I remember us laughing a lot! We had some bouts too, but I remember Tina being fun. I wanted to be like her! She probably doesn’t know this, but I truly did. She had sisters and I envied that. She and our 3rd friend wore glasses and I didn’t…until the day we found a pair in the gym. My crazy ass was happy! I wore someone else’s glasses just to be like and look like she and our other girlfriend. I’m so glad that she came out to the event! We reconnected and it was a pleasure to find out that she’s still Tina Taylor, the cool chick I hung with in Junior High.


Well…it was my hope that all of the people that I hold dear to my heart would have been there to support me on that night, but it didn’t happen that way and the ones that did come are the ones that should’ve and I’m very grateful for that!




Would you look at these brothers!… They did their thing and I hope that every sister that these fellas touched felt special in some way.

I want to give a huge huge shout out to my Husband, Brandon Franklin-Bey (3rd from the left), if not for him, none of this would’ve been possible. Babe, Thank you for motivating me and being by my side assisting me in every way possible! Thank you for the beautiful edible arrangement that you sent to start that day off! It was truly special and much needed!  Thank you for your calming touch and demeanor…it always seems to bring me back to peace.

Christopher Henry, my lil cuzin and my homie! (1st on the left)

Juan, my husband’s good friend, very respectful and  always greets me with a smile and hug! (2nd on left)

Larry,( directly behind my husband), great guy! He was so willing to help in any way that he even worked for us on his off day!

Kevin Bates, class mate and business partner to my husband. He was the 1st man to tell me how great he thought the event would be and he was the first man to acknowledge that the event was eyeopening and helped him as well.  (1st on the right)

Daniel Foster,( 2nd on right). Man, he humped for us!  He got in there, took charge and handled things! I appreciate that, a man that knows how to take charge!  Excellent leadership quality.

Last but not least, My good friend Michael Troup…  We refer to each other as “West Memphis”, lol it keeps us grounded! He’s not only my long time friend from the hood, we grew up together on South 16th street, but he was also my first male nail client and was a long standing client of mine! When he heard about the event and what I was trying to do for the ladies, he called me immediately and asked if I needed his help.. and I did! He came through for me! I knew he’d be a perfect gentleman to you ladies. They all were… but, I’m sure West Memphis put the charm on for ya! I know he did because my granny called and raved about him escorting she and Dr. Barr to their cars! lol



Dr. Jael Roberson is a professor at Spelman University as well as, life coach, motivational speaker and actress. She did an amazing job speaking to and motivating us to be Great! I know she touched a few of the ladies lives on that night and I’m certain she lit a spark under some sister there to ignite her future! Sh’es a giving person, I know that because when I contacted her for the event and told her what the theme was and what I wanted to do for the women in my hometown, she didn’t hesitate to accept the invite and on top of that, SHE SAID SHE WOULDN’T CHARGE US! I only had to fly her there and accommodate her. She blessed us real real real good!…and I’m forever grateful for her. I’m certain that I’ll be able to assist her in some way in the near future with help and support!

Thank you soooo much Jael! I love You!



Naked & Unafraid All Nude Dinner Party

Greetings Everyone!

TALKING ABOUT STR8NOCHASR! I’m gonna need one after this!

So here goes! It’s been a long time coming lol! First, I would like to apologize to every sister that attended the All Nude dinner party. The apology is for not having the blog up and running on the date that was originally given. You know, life is super funny at times and you may think you have everything all planned out and then life shows up and tells you that you don’t run SHIT! Initially when i thought of this party, of course I envisioned it being spectacular! I wanted every woman in the building to be treated with love, respect and admiration. I wanted you guys to have a wonderful time, a good meal, and walk away feeling empowered and motivated. That was my ultimate goal! I feel that my wants were a SUCCESS! Of course, everyone doesn’t necessarily feel that way, but it’s ok!

Let me tell you about some of the details surrounding this event. This event was sponsored by myself, my husband, and our companies; Str8nochasr Llc. and Conscious Minds Ent. Llc. I put my heart into it! Although my ultimate goal of treating you ladies to a good night was a success, there were so many other things that didn’t go as planned and didn’t turn out successfully. Now you know I have to tell you about it because i gotta be real!

I secured the venue. I chose the entertainment, caterer, event planner, DJ, theme, colors, speakers and most importantly the photographer!  Yes, the photographer was the most important person at the event! Why?… because in this day and age photos are so important and relevant to almost everything we do. We take photos every single day. Some people take over 200 photos a day trying to get the perfect selfie! Yes, it’s vain to some, but it’s the norm. It’s apart of our society now and with social media leading the way, how can you not have the perfect picture? So, I selected the perfect photographer. A photographer that my company has used on several occasions because I knew that no matter what this party’s turnout would be, he was good enough to make it look like the Grammys in photos. Nothing BUT the Best for us!

I  personally purchased several women’s attire including my own, because I wanted everyone to have an opportunity to dress up for a change and strut their stuff!  While in Hawaii, I purchased my attire. I later went shoe shopping with my sister when I came home for the event. I’m certain that most of you ladies did the same exact things that I did to ensure that you’d look your best. I got mine and my daughters nails done. I got their weaves done… and i hate weaves! Lol

My mother and grandmother eagerly waited with excitement and anticipation for the event. They  looked for their perfect dresses! I couldn’t wait to get a picture with all 5 generations of my family. My grandmother, mother, me, my daughters, my aunt and sister. I would cherish the picture for a life time! Seven beautiful black women all different skin tones, all wearing shades of nude.  The photo would be priceless and remain in each of our homes for lifetimes…

Now, to elaborate on this apology being given… This is how I envisioned the party would go. After the event was over, I’d planned to have everyone log onto the website for the first time in hopes of being able to see all of the wonderful pictures, videos and special moments that took place as well as read all of the old and new blog posts I’d written.  The photographer that I hired had to leave early, even though he was paid for the full time. So, I didn’t get pics or video footage of the end of the event. The key note speaker’s address was not documented…BUT, I was understanding of his wanting to get to his next job. I know people need their coins and I was happy that everyone else appeared to be happy so, i didn’t sweat it. I smiled, thanked him, and paid him.

So, a few days go by and I was expecting to get a call or text from the photographer so that I could proof the photos and video for the event. Unbeknownst to me, 38 of the pictures had been released to Facebook! I thought, why would a PROFESSIONAL photographer take pictures of an event that I paid for, as well as paid him to shoot, post MY bought and paid for pictures on his Facebook page before even allowing the purchaser (Kiki) to view them? Upon hearing the news that they were on fb, I immediately drove to my cousin’s house to charge my phone so that I could see what’d been posted and so that I could contact him to remove the photos because that was not my plan. My plan was not for the photos to be on Facebook. I have a website for Str8nochasr and I wanted the photos to be used as a vehicle to draw viewers to the website. I was disappointed to say the least!  After seeing and taking about 11 screenshots of personal photos of myself, close friends and family, I contacted the photographer and asked him very professionally and nicely if he could remove the photos because I didn’t want them on Facebook. I wasn’t ready for anyone from the event to see them yet. I explained to him my purpose for the photos….he said, “Sure no problem”.

Unbeknownst to me, this apparently made him livid! Livid is the only word I can use to describe what his emotion must’ve been due to the result of his actions shortly thereafter.  Days later, I asked him if he could email the photos. He said that he couldn’t… that the file was too large. He stated that he wanted to mail them to me and asked for my address. I felt confident that he’d done this before.  After all, he’s a photographer and surely he has mailed other client’s photos, so i had no reason to doubt that he would be able to take care of the task. I travel quite a bit so, I rested in the fact that when I returned to Georgia, that my photos would be waiting for me in the mail box.  Weeks go by, I return to Georgia eagerly waiting to check my mail.  I arrived at the mail center, took out all the mail….. There it was, the envelope!  The envelope was as flat as the day it was when he purchased it!. There was nothing in the envelope! One corner of the envelope, clearly  hadn’t been sealed. The envelope looked as if someone had purposely tried to make it look like it had come undone.

This is so hard for me to type! I’ve been putting it off day after day! I’ve suffered a barrage of emotions from pure rage to disgust, simple hurt and pain to grief and loss!  It was just a party for a lot of folks, but it was far more for me as an individual as well as for

I immediately called my husband because to me he knows how to handle everything; he’s my hero!…and I knew he’d know just what to do as well as how to calm me down. We talked about it… I called the photographer, no answer! I called again the following day, no answer!  Then, I texted him in detail explaining the disappearance of the media. I never got ugly with him, just stated that I didn’t receive it. I asked what type of media device it was, he stated that it was a jump drive. There were no indications of anything bulky or with substance being inside that envelope! None! I offered to pay him for another jump drive and asked that he resend the media.


I received no response! Days later I get a phone call from him. When I saw his name popup on my caller id, I was elated! I answered the phone all happy go lucky and I  said, “Hey! did you get my text?”, he responded, “Oh yeah, I’m 80% sure that I deleted your pictures!”. I said,” 80% sure, are you kidding me?….Why would you do that?”,  he didn’t respond. Now, I’m beginning to get emotional! I feel tears welling inside my eyes. At the time, I was inside of a restaurant, so I removed myself in case the conversation went left. This…this…this…MAN told me that he “just” did it. I said to him, “Didn’t you just send us footage from an event that you did for us in 2014?, so it’s not customary for you to delete your hard copy of pictures and events, why this one?”,  he then begins to tell me how he’s mailed things to other clients in the past and that they received theirs. So, I calmly said, “What does that have to do with me?”, he continues to speak in regards to some wedding photos he took. I then interrupt his dialogue and say louder,” I don’t care about someone else’s wedding, and I don’t want to hear about anything but the photos for Str8nochasr!”, he then interrupts me and tells me, “YOU’RE GETTING EMOTIONAL!”, and I said, ” Of course I AM!”. I then calmed myself down and simply addressed him by his name and stated that I no longer wanted to continue the conversation with him, I’d contact him via text to see if there’s a 20% chance that he still has the photos.

Weeks go by… I sent out one last text professionally regarding the events surrounding the photos and stated that I would be contacting my lawyer.

How did something so beautiful and thoughtful become something horrible and disgusting because of one person? Why and how could any human being, especially a black brother, look at each of those photos and faces of all the beautiful women in the room (women ranging from ages 16 to 79 ) and be so vindictive, so mean, so cruel! SO thoughtless, just to hurt KIKI!

It’s my belief that when I initially contacted the photographer and asked him to remove the photos from his Facebook page, that he became infuriated. Somehow, I think this man lives vicariously though other people’s businesses via the photos he shoots. I believe this is true because of a statement that he made to me. He said, ” I POST ALL OF MY EVENTS ON MY FACEBOOK PAGE!” . At that moment, I knew that he felt that the photos were his to do what he pleases with.  He thinks that the events he shoots are his events, but they aren’t! The only thing that belongs to him, is his camera. The photos were purchased before he shot them and they belonged to Nikiki Franklin-Bey, and

It’s my belief that he never had media to send to me, and that he purposely suggested mailing them so that he could concoct a scheme to make the media appear to be lost in the mail…But, he didn’t know that Kiki is not the average bear, she’s very smart and she’s a slick detective that pays close attention to detail. I’m not a person that just takes any or everything at face value. I have an analytical mind and you just can’t pull average BULLSHIT over on me…Even if you think you have and thought you got away with it… TRUST ME, you didn’t…and I KNOW!

I didn’t think men could be this type of lil girl petty!…or in their feelings!. I know that power is in the tongue as well as thought. I know that I HAVE THE ABILITY TO BLESS AND CURSE with my own mouth. So, what do yall think my thoughts and words for this…this…this…MAN will be!!!????

I’m sorry, the first post you read on the blog couldn’t be butterflies and lilies…instead it was bullshit and lies!…But hey that’s why it’s STR8NOCHASR and now you know what happened.